Your songs remind me of swimming
by Riddlemeister
Summary: She never understood the concept: loving and being loved. A decade or so of Quinn Fabray's life told through the eyes of the people around her. Quinncentric, sequel to "It's not a promise, I'm just gonna call it."
1. Puck and little Beth

A/N: Hello! This is the second installment of that trilogy I'm working on. I recommend reading "It's not a promise, I'm just gonna call it" first just because this is completely different from the show. It's going to cover from Quinn's freshman year in college to her third year of residency (spanning a decade or so). It's gonna be a little different this time-each chapter will be told from a different character's point of view and they'll all sorta overlap, telling Quinn's story. Don't worry if you don't get some things...It'll make sense by the end of the story. And I'll point out the chronological order in the beginning.

Also, Angie is a character I made up in "It's not a promise." She was Quinn's therapist.

Enjoy!

Song - "Shadow Days" by John Mayer

* * *

[Quinn's senior year in college]

* * *

**Puck (and little Beth)**

* * *

_Hard times have helped me see_

_I'm a good man with a good heart_

_Had a tough time, got a rough start_

* * *

"How you doin?" Puck asks her cautiously, giving her a tight hug. He can barely hear her and he can't tell if it's because the damn train station is too loud or because she's talking so softly.

"I'm okay," Quinn tells him reassuringly. "How are you? And thanks for letting me stay on such short notice."

Puck shrugs.

"I've been great," He tells her, picking up her bags and walking. "And don't worry about it Q. I told you, anytime."

She nods, walking next to him.

He notices how tired she looks.

"Things haven't changed a bit," She observes.

Puck laughs, unlocking his truck.

"It's Lima," He comments. "I feel like this place ain't gonna change no matter what. Cars will be flying in Chicago and shit and we'll revert back to horses and buggies."

Quinn actually laughs and Puck feels better. Because who wants to go back to their hometown after being gone for 4 years for a funeral?

"Come on," Puck mutters as he puts the truck on drive. "Gotta show you the bachelor pad."

* * *

It's almost two in the morning when Quinn gets back from the funeral. Puck's been up worried that something happened to her. She insisted that he didn't need to come with and he respected that.

"Hey," He calls out from the balcony when he hears the front door open. That's how tiny his apartment is—he can hear everything from every point of the apartment.

"Hi," She tells him when she appears at the back door. He looks up and he can tell that she's been crying. Which is normal for funerals, he thinks to himself. But then again, these tears are pretty fresh.

Puck pats the floor next o him, motioning for her to sit. Quinn, still in her black dress, slowly lowers herself across from him. She takes off her shoes and leans her head on the wall.

"I think I saw Finn on the bus today," Quinn starts quietly. Puck nods.

"He came back from Afghanistan in the middle of the summer," Puck informs her.

"Oh, do you still have his number?"

"Yeah, why?" Puck asks, putting his guitar down. "You want it? I can give it to you later."

"Yeah," Quinn mumbles. "That'd be great."

They're quiet for a moment before Puck speaks again.

"So," He starts. "Tell me about her. About Angie."

Quinn is quiet for a while and Puck almost drops it. But then she speaks.

"The summer before our senior year, I was in a car accident," She tells him slowly. Puck frowns, because he never knew any of this.

"I was spiraling down, you know?" She continues. "My dad was still looming over my mom and I, my mom could barely get herself together, and everything I knew was just going to the shits. I was convinced that I was going to be nothing."

"So in a moment of temporary insanity, I hit a tree and got sent to the hospital."

She brings her legs close to her body and hugs them.

"I just needed one person to believe in me," Quinn muses. "And that was Angie. She got me back on track. Helped me get my mom back on track. Helped me get into college. Helped me believe in myself again."

"I just feel like I didn't thank her enough," She trails off.

Puck nods slowly.

"Sounds like she was an amazing woman," He says quietly.

"I wish could talk to her right now," Quinn starts again, leaning against her knees. "I just…Something reminded me of how terrible I was when we were in high school. Sometimes, you just can't run away from that stuff, you know? You've left a mark on people, a terrible mark, and you can't undo stuff like that."

She closes her eyes.

"And I'm scared of the day that Beth finds out that I was a horrible bitch in high school."

"Hey," Puck tells her with a head shake. "Don't think like that. We were young. And stupid. Heck, we're still young and stupid. But you were going through a lot of shit. A lot of shit."

He pauses.

"You have to forgive yourself for those things," Puck says. "You're not that person anymore. And that's all that Beth cares about."

Quinn looks like she doesn't believe him.

"Trust me," He tells her. "She was rattling five hundred words per second when I told her that we were coming to visit her tomorrow."

Quinn smiles.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Puck says quietly. He holds a hand out. "Come here. Let the Puckasaurus give you a hug."

Quinn rolls her eyes and moves over. She leans against him and he puts his arm around her.

"It'll be fine, Q," He tells her. "You have your big family backing you up. Besides, I was an even bigger asshole when we were in high school."

He feels Quinn shaking her head against him.

"Don't say that." Quinn says suddenly, pulling away. "You had a lot of things going on too."

Puck shrugs.

"Sure," He tells her. "Except I'm still here. Lima loser numero uno."

Quinn shakes her head.

"You were never a loser, Puck," She tells him.

Puck smiles slightly.

"You think so?"

"Oh yeah," Quinn reassures him. "Although I'm glad you got rid of that thing on your head."

"Hey! Don't diss the Mohawk!"

Quinn laughs and puts her hands up.

"It was time to retire it anyways," Puck tells her. He looks away. "I'm thinking of switchin careers, or something."

Quinn's face suddenly becomes serious.

"Really? What do you want to do?"

"Join the Cincinnati police department," He tells her. "Figured that I'd be good at catching troublemakers, seeing as I'm a retired one myself. And I'll still be close to Beth."

Quinn just watches him.

"Cept I'm probably not good enough."

"Don't think that," Quinn shakes her head. "You'd kick ass. You should do it."

Puck turns to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely! Promise me you'll look into it."

Puck nods after a while and Quinn leans back against him.

"I heard you got into that fancy medical school you wanted to go to in Chicago," Puck says after a while, a proud smile on his face.

Quinn smiles.

"Northwestern?" She clarifies. "Yeah. I'll be moving in with Santana and Sam next year. She's doing law at the University of Chicago. And Sam is teaching at a school in the suburbs."

"Well that's gonna be a shit show," Puck whistles.

"You should come visit us when you can," She muses.

Puck nods, thinking that through.

"I can do that," He says with a wink. "Dr. Fabray."

Quinn laughs and punches him lightly.

"Don't jinx it."

* * *

The next day, Puck finds himself being harassed to win a stuffed animal. He and Quinn drove over to Shelby's to visit Beth and now the three of them are at Chuck E. Cheese's, where six year old Beth is out on a mission to take Mr. Snuggles home.

"Lucy needs a friend!" Beth tells the two of them, referring to Lucy, her favorite teddy bear that Quinn got her years ago.

"We need, like, thousands of tickets princess," Puck tells her with a slight frown.

"Hmmph," Beth pouts.

Quinn laughs and Puck scratches his head. She nudges him.

"Oh come on Puckerman," She teases, walking towards the nearest game. She turns to Beth and winks. "Don't worry sweetie, I'll win it for you."

Beth smiles her kilowatt smile and claps.

Puck's mouth falls open. He catches up to her.

"Bring it, Q," He mumbles, turning slightly and holding his hand out for Beth. "Come on, Princess. Watch me win you that bear."

Beth laughs and runs up to the two of them.

When they get back to Shelby's, Beth can barely walk through the front door with two bears in tow.

* * *

Quinn meets Finn for coffee or something the day before she heads back to OSU. When she comes back, Finn is trailing behind her with a six pack and a Super Troopers DVD.

"Oh man," Puck calls out. "That movie's the bomb."

He straightens up and pretends to be a cop while Finn uncaps a beer and hands it to Quinn.

"Alright meow," He starts quoting the movie. "Hand over your license and registration."

"Do I look like a cat to you?" Finn joins in. "Am I drinking milk from a saucer?"

Quinn starts laughing and almost spits out her beer.

* * *

"We could be great together, ya know," He says with a wink, finishing off his beer. Finn went home an hour ago and the two of them are out on the balcony.

Quinn rolls her eyes.

"We were great together," She reminds him. "I mean, just look at Beth."

Puck laughs.

"I talked to a police recruiter," He says quietly. When he looks up, Quinn is looking at him.

"Really?"

"Yessum," He tells her as he reaches for two beers in the cooler. "I'm doin' it."

Quinn smiles.

"Sounds great, Puck."

"Let's celebrate then!"

He uncaps two more bottles and hands one to Quinn. Quinn looks at him with one eyebrow raised and Puck just looses it.

"The last time I accepted an alcoholic drink from you…" Quinn trails off.

He laughs even harder, shaking his head at her as she takes the beer he's offering her.

"Hey," Quinn starts, looking at him. "No regrets, right?"

Puck just looks at her before smiling and nodding. "None at all."

"To our little princess," He muses. Quinn echoes his sentiments, clinking her bottle against his.

He smiles at her. Because she might not be the love of his life but he'll always love her. Plus, they have a kid together. And that's a pretty deep bond right there.

* * *

Years down the road, when their little princess is not so little at eighteen, Puck laughs when he hears Beth's booming voice from down the hall.

"Good thing it takes an entire village to move me in."

"Beth—"

"We obviously want to embarrass you," Puck jokes as he stops in front of the doorway to Beth's dorm room. "Wow. You're gonna be living in a shoe box kiddo."

He drops the boxes to where Shelby directs him to and dusts his hands.

Beth laughs.

"I swear, these rooms got even smaller from when I was here," Quinn mumbles as she struggles with the bags she's carrying. "You would think that at some point, OSU would have realized that cramming college freshmen into prison cells doesn't exactly inspire confidence."

"I'm pretty sure we're breaking some fire code right now," Beth quips, taking some of the bags from Quinn's hands. "Thanks, Q."

Puck looks around the cinder block room and whistles. He leans against the door frame. While Beth and Shelby argue about where the bed sheets are (_"I put it in your duffel bag," "I don't see it."_) and who packed it in the first place (_"Mom, are you sure you took it out of the wash?" "Yes. I told you a million times and you didn't do it. So I did."_) and how there really is no need to put the bed together now (_"It's not like I'm gonna go to sleep right now."_), Puck's eyes land on Quinn, who is staring at the pictures that Beth already put up while they were getting the rest of her things from the car. He watches as Quinn reaches over to touch an old picture—one of her and Puck and baby Beth playing at Shelby's backyard.

And he smiles, remembering Quinn's words all those years ago.

No regrets.

This is his family—well, at least a portion of it that they can fit into that truck and into this dorm room—and everything he's done, including the screw ups he's had in his life, has led him here.


	2. Frannie

**Frannie**

* * *

_And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back_

_So shake him out_

* * *

The first time her dad hits her, Frannie is too shocked to do anything. She's literally too scared to breathe, in case the sound will annoy her dad again. He's furious and she doesn't even know why.

Was it because she ended her bed time prayers short last night? Was it because she forgot to kiss him goodbye on her first day of first grade? Or was it because she traded her PB&J sandwich with her new best friend?

She's six and clueless and all she knows is that this is all her fault.

* * *

_Quinn's freshman year of college_

* * *

Quinn wordlessly accepts the cup of hot chocolate that she hands her and Frannie takes a seat with her own mug.

"Johnny's growing up so quickly," Quinn muses with a small smile. She had just helped Frannie get little Johnny into bed, tucking his blanket and promising to see him more often.

Frannie smiles at the thought of her sleeping son upstairs.

"I know," She says. "He'll be going off to college before I know it."

"Where's Mark?" Quinn asks.

"Oh, probably still at work," Frannie hurriedly mumbles, not really sure where her husband is.

There's awkward silence and Frannie fidgets in her seat.

"How's college?" she starts, offering a nervous smile.

Quinn's face is tight. Like she doesn't know what to do with herself.

She takes a sip, and Frannie does the same, averting her gaze.

"It's," and then Quinn's stuck.

"It's college."

Frannie nods, realizing that it still feels like there is an ocean separating the two of them. How did they get this way?

"It's going well," Quinn tries to amend with a small smile. "This is delicious, by the way."

Then Quinn laughs a little.

"Not as good as mom's," She adds. "But it's still pretty damn good."

All of this takes Frannie by surprise. Her little sister talking about their mother so lightly, with a reminiscent smile on her face. Her little sister cussing slightly. Her little sister calling out of the blue. Her little sister standing on her doorstep when she opened her door.

Frannie doesn't even realize that she's rubbing her arm anxiously, with her eyes flitting between the annoyingly loud clock ticking above the sink and the back door, until Quinn makes a strange face and almost softens.

"Fran, I—" Quinn starts again, looking like she's unsure of what it is that she's trying to say. Frannie looks at her. She suddenly feels so old and tired. So old.

She's twenty-four.

"Remember when we rode our bikes out to that second hand bookstore outside of town?" Frannie asks with a reluctant smile. "You were probably 5 or 6 then. It was three floors of used books. You looked like what most kids looked like when you took them to the candy store."

Quinn just watches her, so Frannie continues.

"At some point, I lost you. I was frantic, you know. I thought you'd left. Or that someone took you," Frannie explains. "But then I found you, sitting cross legged on the window sill up in the attic, holding_ Matilda_ upside down."

Quinn smiles.

"You were so angry," she muses.

"Only because you scared the living daylights out of me," Frannie lets out in defense.

The two of them fall quiet and Frannie tightens her hold on her mug.

"Dad hit me real hard the day before that," Frannie reveals, not looking up from her hot chocolate. "That backpack that I had? All my birthday money was in a plastic baggie inside. I had a whole loaf of bread with a jar of peanut butter. I had some bananas too. And a map of Ohio."

She looks up and finds Quinn watching her intently.

"I was going to run away and take you with me and never look back," She tells Quinn with a small smile. "I had it in my head that we'd eventually join the circus or something."

Frannie watches as Quinn's lower lip falls slightly.

"…You told me we were going to go on an adventure…but then I had to pee," She recalls slowly. And Frannie nods. "And the bookstore was there."

"We ended up sitting there and I read books to you for almost two hours," Frannie reminisces. "You fell in love with Nancy Drew. But you loved Matilda the most."

Frannie brings her arms around herself, smiling at Quinn.

"You were convinced you could also make something move with your mind."

"You bought me that book," Quinn says.

Frannie nods quietly.

"I still have it," Quinn adds quietly. She watches the older Fabray as she swirls her hot chocolate.

"I wanted to be like Miss Honey-get out of there and then get settled and get you out of there. You and me, like Miss Honey and Matilda. But I didn't know how to protect you," Frannie says quietly. "And instead of figuring it out, I just go out the moment that I could."

She lets out a laugh.

"Only to end up in the exact same spot," She muses to herself, but Quinn catches her.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Frannie whispers, hoping that Quinn can see how genuinely sorry she is.

"Hey," Quinn starts out gently, taking her sister's hand into hers. "You were there. Maybe not physically, but your calls and your emails and your letters reminded me that you'll always be there. You have your own life to live too."

Quinn smiles.

"Besides, it's not too late. I'll never not need a big sister."

Frannie laughs, moving in to hug Quinn. Somehow, they both end up crying.

* * *

"DOGGY!" Johnny screams, scrambling to get up from the grass and pet a dog passing by. Frannie smiles and hears Quinn laughing from next to her.

"What's his name, honey?" Judy calls out, taking out her camera to take pictures of her grandson and the dog.

It's Mom's weekend and the four of them are enjoying ice cream on the OSU Quad, sitting on the grass and listening to Quinn relate the events of her freshman year with wonder and subtle hand gestures.

"It's Sammy, Gramma!" Johnny yells out enthusiastically. "Like auntie Q's friend."

Quinn laughs even harder. Johnny waves them over.

"I want to pet the dog," Quinn semi-whines, getting up and walking towards the dog. She kneels down and when Johnny starts introducing Quinn to the dog, Quinn reaches out and ruffles his hair.

Frannie smiles.

"Quinn looks beautiful on this campus," Frannie observes. Her mom nods next to her. "She looks so happy."

"It hasn't been easy for your sister," Judy remembers. "But she pulled through with flying colors. She was always so smart and imaginative and reluctant, you know? And then she changed. She was this new person and I was worried that we had lost your sister forever. But I was wrong. She's so special. She helped me get here. And she inspired me to live like I've always dreamed of."

Frannie falls quiet and she starts picking at the hem of her dress.

"I'm sorry, mom," She starts. "I—I just left the moment I could. I abandoned you and Quinn."

Judy shakes her head, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of Frannie's hair.

"Don't blame yourself," Judy tells her. "Quinn didn't need saving. She saved herself."

Frannie, with watery eyes, nods slowly.

"You deserve all the happiness in the world too, Frannie," Judy adds, looking back at Quinn and Johnny, both running back to them with smiles on their faces.

* * *

_Quinn's sophomore year_

* * *

Quinn picks up after three rings and she sounds like she's out of breath.

"_Frannie, hey,"_ Frannie hears her voice on the other line and she clings on to it like it's a life saver.

"Hi, Quinn," Frannie says, her voice shaky. She looks at the rearview mirror and sees Johnny fast asleep in his car seat. "Do you mind if Johnny and I stay with you tonight?"

Quinn's quiet for a split second.

"_No, of course not. You're always welcome to stay with me."_

* * *

Frannie finishes tucking Johnny in Quinn's bed and when she comes out of the bedroom, she finds Quinn sitting on the couch with two cups of hot chocolate on the coffee table. She looks up, startled out of her thoughts.

"Hey," Quinn says, patting the spot next to her.

Frannie walks over, sitting down and taking the mug that Quinn offers her.

"I'm sorry that this is on such short notice," Frannie starts rambling nervously.

"Frannie," Quinn says abruptly, looking at her seriously. "What happened to your face?"

Frannie stops talking. She looks down.

"Mark hit me," She reveals quietly. "He's always had a temper. And he has his way with words. He can reduce you to feeling like you're worth nothing without him. Just with words."

She's quiet for a second. There is some truth to the saying that girls end up marrying their fathers.

"But this is the first time he's hit me," She continues. "And I was scared. I thought he was going to hurt Johnny too."

She looks up and sees that Quinn's jaw is tight and her hands are balled into fists.

"I was so scared, Quinn," She whispers, finally crying. Quinn softens and envelops her in a hug immediately.

"It's okay," Quinn tells her quietly. "You're safe with me."

* * *

The next day, Quinn's friends—Sam and Mike—go back with them to pack some of Frannie's and Johnny's things. Mark is nowhere to be found, and Frannie is thankful for that. They pack the essentials—whatever they can fit into their cars—and Quinn remains steady and calm next to Frannie.

Before they leave, Frannie stands at the doorway and looks around the house quietly.

"I'm glad Mark isn't here," Quinn says quietly. "I would have kicked his ass."

Frannie smiles.

* * *

"I can't take this," Frannie says sharply, handing the check back to Quinn. "This is yours Quinn. You were putting this away for a reason."

They've just finished bringing Frannie's things up to Judy's new place and the two of them are standing out by the car while Judy makes Johnny some lunch. Quinn shakes her head.

"I'm not giving it to you, Fran," Quinn tells her. "I'm letting you borrow it. It's not much, but it should help you until you figure stuff out. Take it for Johnny."

Frannie is quiet.

"And then pay me back," Quinn continues. And then she smiles. "With lots of interest obviously."

Frannie laughs and rolls her eyes.

"Come here, you silly kid," Frannie says with open arms, hugging Quinn tight.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

* * *

_Quinn's junior year_

* * *

"Mom! Gramma! Aunt Q is here!" Johnny screams excitedly as Quinn exits the train. He runs up to her and Quinn laughs, giving him a tight hug.

"Hi, Johnny," Quinn says, ruffling his hair. "Have you been a good boy?"

"Yep!" Johnny tells her with a toothy grin. "I got a golden star this month at my new school!"

He pulls out the star from his pocket and Frannie actually laughs.

"Johnny, I didn't know you had that with you."

* * *

"How are you?" Quinn asks quietly as they set the table. Judy and Johnny are in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on their Thanksgiving turkey.

"Good," Frannie says with a small but genuine smile. And she means it. Good. The divorce papers are in; the three of them have finally settled in this new condo of theirs; Johnny loves his new school; and the corner bakery/coffee shop that she started with her mom is actually doing well.

And her sister is here and they're all together and happy. Everything is good.

* * *

That night, Frannie wakes up to get a glass of water and finds Quinn sitting at the counter with a cup of hot chocolate.

"Hey," Frannie mumbles sleepily, stealing some of Quinn's hot chocolate.

"That was mine," Quinn says with a slight whine, laughing as she pulls the mug back.

"What's up?" Frannie asks, sitting down on the stool next to her.

Quinn shrugs.

"Things," Quinn lets out. "I don't know. My MCAT is coming up; I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. What if I'm not good enough to be a doctor?"

She looks down.

"What if…what if I'm not who I thought I was? Or who you thought I was?"

Frannie, in her sleep deprived state, props her elbow and leans on her hand. Somehow, she feels like this goes beyond Quinn's doubts about medical school.

"Then you grow to become who you are," Frannie explains. "And it won't make a difference to me, or to mom, or to Johnny. All we'll care about is that you're happy. You know that, right?"

Quinn nods slowly and she turns to Frannie with a smile.

"Yeah."

"Besides, if you don't become a doctor—which you will—I'm sure you'll find something to do with your life that you love. You can do anything, Quinn."

* * *

_Quinn's 4__th__ year of medical school_

* * *

"Where are you going, honey?" Frannie hears Judy say as she gets up from her chair and straightens up her dress.

"I just have to use the washroom really quick," Frannie whispers urgently, ducking and making her way out to the aisle.

"Well, hurry, they're just about to start!"

Frannie nods, speed walking out of the auditorium. By the time she makes it out of the washroom, there's already a line of deep purple graduation gowns waiting patiently in front of the main doors of the auditorium.

Frannie stops and turns back to the line of people several feet away from her, where she instantly finds Quinn fiddling with her tassel. And then her robe. And then her hat. And then her tassel again. Frannie almost laughs because this is a habit of Quinn's when she is nervous.

Quinn must've heard her thoughts because she turns to Frannie's direction and catches her sister's eye.

Frannie just smiles softly and gives her a small hand wave. Quinn smiles a small but genuine smile and raises her hand slightly to wave back. Frannie motions to her cap, which fell askew from all of her tinkering with it. Quinn laughs and fixes it. And when _Pomp and Circumstance_ starts booming from inside the auditorium, Quinn shoos her with her hands and Frannie just laughs, turning and hurrying back to her seat.


End file.
